bits and pieces to soak in.

weapon

colossal lies spill from your lips, and now i trust no one, including your hints. poison in your brain guides your negative thoughts throgh your veins out to the fingertips that drain to mine and explode. i’m so hard to find and i make it that way. i shield myself from your warped ways.

spring cleaning is my ritual with you and it isn’t thorough enough. spring clutter is the reality i’m trying to let go while i attempt to clear my brain so full on you. i have a stomach-ache of sorts, while you poke and you prod. no thought of consequence, you’re the only one on your brain. no worries of future — what future? the one where i forget you, drop you in the dirt? as much as that is what you deserve, i’d rather drop you on cloudes where i put you in my thoughts. by yourself, where you should be. alone to reflect — but you refuse. defiant, the reason for my bruises, scars, and abuses.

exercise your heart or lose it

what breaks my heart is the comfort we felt. the ease we felt in each other’s arms. and how it was all ripped away so easily. how could you give that up? i wish i knew then how to make it so easy to let go, like you. you evacuated my heart and i’m left hollow. what now? what’s left? you’ve stolen it all.

don’t apologize to me

watching you change before my eyes
it’s going to take you time to realize
this isn’t about who you think it is.

garbage confession

i like how nervous i make you,
when i can hear your voice shake.
yet i want to calm you,
stop the frustrating ache.

wistful

it’d been days since i saw you. out of town, but naturally you were all i thought about. when i returned, i went straight to you. when you saw me you dropped everything and ran to me. embraced me as tight as you could. i took that for granted then. i know, because i’d do anything to have it back right now. and you pulled me onto your bed, crushing my lungs under your weight. i tried to talk to you, but you wouldn’t answer. soon i realized you were crying. “i don’t want you to leave,” you muttered through the sobs and squeezed me tighter. i squeezed back. the future never stopped haunting us.

asunder

it’d be cliché to say you tore my heart asunder, but what can i say? you’re quite the cliché. and in the beginning you told me you weren’t like everyone else. i was naive and lonely, and i believed you. but despite what i was, i knew there was something there. i knew you were different, even if you didn’t know what you were, while the bullshit poured from your lips. deep down i knew. i knew you, even when you didn’t know yourself. and the nights we spent tearing each other asunder before we wove ourselves as one were the best of my summer even though they were my worst. but i’ll admit, the rainy days were what lit my soul on fire.

july 22, 2009

i’ll never forget how good your lips felt on my skin.