February 2012
9 posts
1 tag
push
i jolted awake sat up straight choked on the current events of my waking life— amounting to nothing but an office job in hell.
even the best altruists, at peace humans, maintain boring careers i want no part of.
thrills, freedom, a new beginning.
i want to live where excitement does, to be buried in art and love, to be immersed in the poetry of the earth and amount to more.
the physical...
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BLOWJOB (vulgar slang) by Sharon Olds →
Happy Monday! Refreshing. Needed [by our society]. Thank you Afieya for sharing.
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something's knocking at the door
midnightgrime:
a great white light dawns across the continent as we fawn over our failed traditions, often kill to preserve them or sometimes kill just to kill. it doesn’t seem to matter: the answers dangle just out of reach, out of hand, out of mind. the leaders of the past were insufficient, the leaders of the present are unprepared. we curl up tightly in our beds at night and wait. it is a...
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object
i just want to write i have no goddamn influence. i want to create and i have no resources. no substance. no purpose. that’s why, no purpose. what’s the purpose of this, even? mental chaos cliché in a cliché misery where i want to be everyone but myself. defined in physicality my body is a spectacle for the revenue of lack, and longing. can i not believe kind words or do i choose not...
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i grew. hard on others for their looks or their smirks, for better or worse, mostly on myself. just as critical, if not more, so i thought it was okay if i tore, tore at my foundation— outer scales, society, you institutions, they agonize my mind i was swallowed whole in vain for my own gain, how to stay between the man and the game, to succeed without directly giving in. and i want to...
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boundless
the other piece of ‘we’ calms me down, completes me flees through the week i greet him on the other side of our sun burning and trembling for the next time we meet
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monday
weekends are short and my fears are long string along like a wave in the sea you replenish me
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January 2012
21 posts
1 tag
solitude
it hurts when you leave and you, and you everyone leaves eventually but it is not their fault we all have our lives to tend to,
and i find in my solitude this beautiful morning i don’t feel sad as usual i am fortunate and i am happy i am loved, and i love and that is what matters.
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“The pessimism of the creative person is not decadence but a mighty passion for...”
– Isaac Bashevis Singer, in his speech of December 8th, 1978, accepting the Nobel Prize in Literature. (via barretta)
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Powa — Tune-Yards
Best song to start your...
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mine
when i feel close to you i am happiest an intimacy that passes over miles embraces me when i feel most tired
i think of you and the love fills my mind where you reside most of the time
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flood my veins with blood
is it true you can only be whole with another? i thrive on independence and yet, like a ceramic, i crack when you leave float like a leaf in the autumn eve left to right down to the ground and writhe. crisp and unalive.
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incapable of articulation these days, and that is...
i will paint my frustrations with overused words and rhymes of my incapability at success. another drone of consumption and greed born at your pleasure to continue a sick cycle into our demise. i am not worthy of a second look, clearly, and i grew up with the intention of bringing myself up the ladder we’re all supposed to fit on, somehow. i was physically raised, but my intellect was...
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Stormy Weather — Etta James
No one had a...
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float in dreams of them a pool of juice from the candle boiling like their tea flame flickers stays lit you come apart bit by bit put up a struggle feelings knit and a vision is produced out of it
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“If I had my way we’d sleep every night all wrapped around each other like...”
– William S. Burroughs
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i wish i could write better speak better think better
be accepted by you and you and not be brash in my opinions and the things i’ll say.
but i’ll never be the classy movie stars like marilyn and greta
i will always be frustrated and confused, at least it seems
and am i wrong to blame media and pop culture? for feeding me the wrong ideals attempting to dumb me down and behave in a...
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fire work
at times, love my heart feels so full of euphoria for you hope for us that it feels as though it might burst and overflow break through my chest, and like lava, flow to you in the best eager fashion. sentiments burst and i lose the words to accurately paint how i feel. a mélange of love, fear, excitement. i slow, not to get stuck at fear, for that is only a red light. the only red i desire to...
there are times i feel so worthless i lie here, dwell on the fact of lethargy, lack of drive and motivation, it is all hopeless anyway.
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an apology. a cry.
today i behaved as an insolent child. i apologize. and my love, you should know i miss you terribly when you leave. it is notions like these that i wish could satisfy my fear and my hunger. i should take comfort in our lazy days. i should be calmed at the thoughts of our love, for it’s waves extend across continents and seas. my insomnia tears my heart because one image of you should relieve...
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Composure — Warpaint
I just cannot stop...
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it feels good to hold this smoke in my lungs because nothing else feels good anymore (except when i’m with you, but that’s another story) a sickening sign of a deepening depression that will increase with the further recession
how long have i felt so stuck i’ve lost track of all time (except that i attempt to cling to it, indefinitely) since this aching has gone longer than i...
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you are better
how do i sleep tonight, my love, without your frame? our love rises with the sun, blooms with the flowers, and when the sun sets these winter evenings, love weaves between our fire hearts.
it scares me to miss you: your soft cheeks and sincere smile (stick with me like a sweet aftertaste).
most of all i miss your encouraging words. the way you lift the stress off my shoulders. you are...
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helpless.
it’s a shame to feel like you can never be alone. that something will always eat away at you. and i’m tired of writing about the same ol’ damn thing which has never gott- en me anywhere. i feel helpless and i’m tired of asking for favors. friends are my taxi and although i feel higher than that of them i’m sure it’s the only way they feel. i’m a...
December 2011
21 posts
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Bathtub Full of Blood
i lick my lacerations and hide razorblades underneath my tongue. in hopes that if she cuts me deep i’d slit her wrists and heal her as she hung.
— Afieya Kipp
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poesa.
pilgrimsoulinme:
A sense of sin, sounding off the tongue, unhurried, slow and unctuous, as the song hissed from dripping hips. She was the sun, both sanguine and unfair, filling my nose with ambrosial nonsense and truth, wet regression set like sweet hypnosis against the snicker of my cellphone and the rain.
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Footnote To Howl by Allen Ginsberg
Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! Holy! The world is holy! The soul is holy! The skin is holy! The nose is holy! The tongue and cock and hand and asshole holy! Everything is holy! everybody’s holy! everywhere is holy! everyday is in eternity! Everyman’s an angel! The bum’s as holy as the seraphim! the madman is holy as you...
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still learning
i long for a freedom no one can give me, i must find myself.
and as a person who aims for a sexuality, and a life fluid, and without fear, if your mind is a capsule expel from me.
keep judgments to yourself, i long for nothing of the sort.
and if all you can do is tell me how to live my life with a rigid set of rules to abide by, i have nothing but fear and sadness for you.
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unsure what i am looking for
drowning in confusion, abuse, and the thin line of right and wrong. the past, present, future linger and haunt like an ex-lover’s scent. a stench that invades. it does not apologize for causing a brutal nostalgia of loss and regret stinging your supple skin. the poison of caring too much, acting as a selfless vessel, you want to solve their problems but you cannot. face it.
young girls...
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Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad! Buon Natale!
Hello Tumblies,
I have some news! Unfortunate news… I have somehow become extremely ill the night before Christmas Eve. I am in so much pain and I can’t even explain why or how or what it is. It is a little scary. Anyway, the bad news is I don’t think that Ghosts Under Veil will be ready by the end of this year, but my goal is sometime in January. Hopefully earlier than later. I...
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pieces
remember when we first met, we had so much in common it was suspicious? we’d both point at each other and exclaim, “i’m on to you!” laughing and smiling ‘cos we both knew there was nothing to hide; we are simply that alike.
i know it is not over but it feels so. i am missing your smile and kiss as if i will never have them again.
but your shoes lay in the corner of...
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back burner
bearer of your cruel words i carry them in my belly for my heart was too full of your sweet words gemini, gemini make up your mind the evil twin likes me too much, i see him most and i care too much, i cannot drop you like the dime let me know you will give this time reserve me in your heart and mind i will take back burner for you.
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tread these waters carefully
perhaps you learn this time not to speak out of anger the consequences, stronger than you think i want you to think the world of me after all, that is how i think of you and it hurt when you blew us away into fragments straight to the sky, the sun, that fizzled us in seconds.
prove to me, darling prove to me soon that i am as important as you say that we are as great as we feel, to me because you...
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missing link
where is the fire my love that ignited our connection and why does it feel like the stew is calming i want to boil under the sun we create and be born again in you
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gracelandmomma asked: I'm interested in publishing my writing and was wondering how are you going about that process.
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“i know that it is all
a matter of hands.
out of the mournful sweetness of...”
– Anne Sexton (via rockwriteon)
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Goal for the next month:
Finish editing my second book of poetry, Ghosts Under Veil, and FINALLY get it published!
Spread the word! ;)
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orphan
i want health the mental kind but i’m trapped in a cage buried deep inside my mind
can you see me struggle under the weight of the water thrashing limbs and flooding lungs an oceanic slaughter
you watch me drown you watch me falter throw in the anchor listen to the demons, “assault her!”
like Plath herself a bell jar envelops the darkness weighs in hopelessness develops
it...
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Complicated
scratchesonapage:
There is a blue moment between sunset and sunrise when all the messages on your homepage are outgoing and you know it won’t be soon that the answer arrives
so you sit with your hands tied into fists and a mouthful of knots that you swallowed to your stomach
until a light comes on somewhere and you feel less alone.
There is a piece of warmth in the wintry weather when you...
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when i exhale it feels as though ten thousand nails are pried from my soul you put them there and you and you i allowed them to stay not on purpose my unconscious rules most of the time and it aches at night to be alone and think of everyone everything everywhere else their lives and their goals their loves and their happiness i rot away as i always do alone, allowing the brain to stew it...
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red orchid
i was happy for a time a brief time (at least compared to my sullen three years of solitude) until you showed your true colors of red fury and pain they leaked onto me sizzled through my skin like a bitter acid and i wept my tears into the holes of my wounds i continue to weep ‘til the acid leaves your bloodstream.
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“…it didn’t seem to be summer any more. I could feel the winter...”
– Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
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flutter
when i see you, angel with the shredded wings, i see that the fire reached you too soon.
i understand it bit me too if it weren’t for you i’d be back at ground zero with nothing to lose but my own ambitions and as much as you illuminate me you tear me down we can build up together if you’re willing to try don’t be shy together we’ll fly
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landtsof asked: first just let me say i love your writing, some of it really speaks to me :). second i have a question: i like to draw and one day i was sketching and i put one of your poems into the art. since the picture is sitting in a pile of papers stuffed in my desk, ive yet to put credit for you on the paper. i would love to put more of your work into my art but i feel like i should ask first. is this ok?...