crickets chirp softly
the subtle buzz in your ears
louder than you think

soulful, sweet
star in the sky
smiling down
smiling so sly
i see you there
sneakin’ a wink
in disguise
but i feel it right
i feel that truth
i have all the proof
in my heart,
the exhausted part
it healed slow,
but now i know

“our lips are petals,”
overrated nothings,
i’ve been done with you.

~

when you look at me,
knees crinkle like branches,
i crash into twigs.

~

dewdrops on my skin,
and somehow you always win,
but i won’t let you.

i might’ve forgot what happy is,
but i know what happy isn’t.

it isn’t you anymore.
it isn’t the way you’d criticize me,
it isn’t the way you’d manipulate me.

happy is myself and my future,
but i need to be happy in my present.
or else i’ll never find happy,
and happy will never find me.

dig a ditch
throw myself in

my head weighs much more
than my once heavy heart

but that flutters high
while my mind’s weighed down

the same as my shoulders
in this taxing state